| First aired:|
March 31, 2008
Someone is sabotaging Barney's attempts to pick up girls and the gang must examine his previous conquests to find the culprit.
Future Ted – "Kids, back when we were younger, your Uncle Marshall and I were really into college basketball. Every year, March Madness would take over the entire apartment."
Marshall and Ted are working on filling in the brackets for the college basketball playoff games when the girls come into the living room and ask what they are doing. Lily asks where he got the blackboard and Marshall tells her that he found it, but Marshall recounts in his head that they stole the blackboard from Lily's room. Barney walks in and tells them that the team that they bet on just lost. Barney tells everyone that he went to the hardware store to pick up girls. He tells a girl that he helped a another girl and when Barney returns after getting something, she slaps him. This also happened at the dog store and the museum; every time he returns, he gets slapped. Barney can't figure out what is going on.
Future Ted – "But the next night got even weirder."
Barney and Lily meet up at the bar and when Barney walks off to get something, a girl approaches Lily and tells her that he will say whatever just to get into her pants. Lily is upset and tells Barney, but they can't find her and Barney can't figure out who it is. Barney tries to think about who it could be and goes through hundreds of girls in his mind and he gets overloaded.
Barney complains to everyone and Ted suggests that he looks at the book of girls that he has slept with. Barney brings everyone to see his book and Lily can't find who the girl is. Barney gets an idea that he put the girls on the bracket chart that Marshall and Ted have and he suggests that they discuss the girls and figure out who it is. No one wants to do it, but Barney brought beer. They all argue about who has the most reason to hate him and sabotage him. After several hours, they have come to the final four and decide to contact all of the women. Lily and Barney first visit Meg, the girl that he slept with in the first apartment that Marshall and Lily bought. Barney wants to hide from her, but Lily makes him apologize to her. When Meg sees them, she runs up to Barney and kisses him. When Lily breaks them up, she tells Barney that she isn't the one, but he has to apologize to her, but he quickly walks off in the other direction. The next girl, Anna, got lied to that Barney was Ted. She tells him that she has a website, tedmosbyisajerk.com. Barney stands on a table and tells the whole restaurant that Ted Mosby is a jerk and to go to the website.
Future Ted – "And that little Web site went on to get 400,000 hits. Thanks, Barney."
The next girl is Kate, whom Barney lied to and had sex with her twice and used different names. She immediately attacks him and Lily makes sure to get a picture. The next, and last girl, is Holly. Barney recalls the story of leaving her in the woods by herself and a bear comes after her. Lily gripes at him and tells him that it is the worst thing he has ever done. Holly answers the door and meets Mark, her fiancé. They invite Barney and Lily in the house and have coffee. Barney says that that was the worst Fourth of July, but Mark reminds Holly that they started dating in June.
Lily gripes at Barney when they get back to the apartment that he never apologized to any of the women. Barney doesn't think that is bad, but what he does think is bad is that he doesn't know who the stalker is. Robin suggests that they set her up and Robin will be the girl that Barney is hitting on. Robin sets up the scene that Lily will be at the jukebox, the guys will be at the booth having a normal conversation, and Robin will walk up and get hit on by Barney. Robin asks what he tells them to get them to have sex with him and he tells her and she gets a little turned on. When Robin sees someone coming in, Barney walks off to the bathroom and the girl approaches Robin. Barney returns from the bathroom and looks on the bracket to find her, but she isn't there and he doesn't recognize her at all. When she walks off, Barney intercepts her and tells her that he doesn't recognize her and he apologizes to her. Lily walks up and tells her that she isn't the girl and the girls walks away. Lily takes a picture and names it "Barney's Redemption". There is a montage of what Barney has done to girls over the years.
Future Ted – "Eventually Barney did figure out who the mysterious girl was. But more on that later."
Barney writes in his blog on the computer: "Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another. Even though I didn't find the mystery girl…I did find out something very important about myself…I'm awesome." A girl interrupts him and asks him to come back to bed with her since he has to go in outer space tomorrow.
- Barney's one-night-stand with Anna, better known as the kickboxing instructor "resident" occurred in Ted Mosby: Architect.
- Meg re-appears, last seen being left by Barney in Marshall and Lily's new apartment in Dowisetrepla.
- Barney finally confronts his saboteur (Abby) in Everything Must Go.
- In Brunch, Ted states that Barney always uses 83 percent when he makes up a statistic. Barney says in this episode that 83 percent is how much he can see when he was acting as a blind man.
- Former United States Secretary of State Madeline Albright appears in Barney's flashback of women he dated and also on the blackboard. Barney mentioned sleeping with her in The Yips. Also, when looking through Barney's scrapbook, Lily lists "government official" as one of the notable celebrities she has found therein.
- Before confronting Meg, Barney asks Lily to go into his room and throw a metal case that he owns off into the East River if the girl kills him. In The Rough Patch Barney gives Ted a similar case which contains all of his porn.
|Barney:||This is a nightmare! Some woman that I slept with and screwed over is trying to ruin my life. God, why is this happening to me?|
|Barney:||Nah, it's not Karma. She's stripping in Vegas...plus we're good.|
|Ted:||Come on! Let's see the list.|
|Barney:||Come on! Let's see the list. Ted, don't be crass. I would never demean the women that I've slept with by putting their names on a tawdry list. (cut to Barney in the apartment pulling out a scrapbook)|
|Barney:||: This is a scrapbook of all the women I've slept with. I made it at the scrapbook barn on 7th.|
|Barney:||She said I hooked up with her? Well, what's her name? What'd she look like?|
|Lily:||She didn't say her name. But she had blonde hair, boobs... kinda trashy.|
|Barney:||Dead in the eyes with an aura of self-loathing and despair?|
|Barney:||That's all of them!|
|Lily:||Maybe you're not as good a liar as you think you are.|
|Barney:||Oh, really, then why am I not in prison for perjury? (waves hand dismissively) But I don't wanna talk about work.|
|Barney:||Okay, girl who thought I owned Google or girl who thought I was a scuba instructor?|
|Ted:||You gotta go scuba instructor.|
|Ted:||She got the bends!|
|Barney:||Yeah, she did!|
|Marshall:||(Doing a thumbs-down) Boo!|
Notes and TriviaEdit
Goofs and ErrorsEdit
- In the flashback where Barney leaves Holly in the tent, it showed him driving away. However, in Moving Day, it is established that Barney is terrified of driving and can’t really do it. On a similar note, when apologizing to Robin's friend from work, he says he was given the keys to a Mercedes when he potentially sold a woman.
- In Say Cheese, Barney is said to never have taken a bad photo (i.e. a photo without his signature pose). However, Lily is able to take multiple pictures of Barney in compromising situations in this episode for her scrapbook.
- Barney says that he would never put the girls he's slept with on a list, but in Right Place, Right Time he shows Ted a list of 200 women he's slept with.
Allusions and Outside ReferencesEdit
- The final scene is a parody of the conclusion of every episode of Doogie Howser, MD. Doogie (the character that brought fame to Neil Patrick Harris), at the end of every episode, updated his blog with the same musical theme heard here.
- Near the beginning of the episode, Barney is trying to remember the name of Alan Alda, who played Hawkeye Pierce in the TV series M*A*S*H.
- Oprah Winfrey appears in the bracket as one of Barney's conquests. She is the last name in the 4th region and loses in the first round.
- When going through the women he slept with, one of the pictures shows Madeleine Albright, ex U.S Secretary of State, who Barney has already mentioned in The Yips.
- One Shining Moment - David Barrett
- The website www.tedmosbyisajerk.com actually exists and contains the letter Barney left for Anna in Ted Mosby: Architect, posters from the fake Ted Mosby's porn movies from I'm Not That Guy, and caricatures of different fates that would be too good for Ted Mosby.
- April Bowlby - Meg
- Dawn Olivieri - Anna
- Chris Tallman - Mark
- Maite Schwartz - Holly
- Ken Barnett Colton Dunn
- Brendan Patrick Connor - Janitor
- Yvonne DeLaRosa - Charna
- Katy Savoy - Karen
- Kathy Uyen - Julia
- Hallie Lambert - Kate
- Tess Alexandra Parker - Mysterious Woman
|Ten Sessions||The Bracket |
|The Chain of Screaming|