| First aired:|
March 30, 2009
Ted and Barney challenge each other to things they are too old and too young to do, respectively. Marshall helps Lily coach kindergarten basketball.
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The episode begins with Barney recalling the events of the previous night to the rest of the gang, in which he is accused of being too rough during laser tag by the game's owner. He then reveals plans to break into the laser tag arena and throw toilet paper everywhere. He is shown arguing with the owner in a parody of a scene often used in crime shows. Ted brushes it off, informing Barney that he is too old for laser tag. Ted then reveals "The Murtaugh List", a reference to the Roger Murtaugh character from the Lethal Weapon series, whose signature phrase is "I'm too old for this shit". Throughout the episode the narrator Ted replaces the word "shit" with "stuff" as he retells the story to his children. Ted's use of the list is to keep a record of the things he believes he has become too old to do anymore. Barney accepts Ted's revealing of the list as a challenge, and makes a bet with him that he can perform every item on the list within the following 24 hours. If he cannot, he will spend three hours listening to Ted talk about architecture, an idea so horrible even the thought of it causes him to twitch involuntarily.
Meanwhile, Marshall has taken on the role of coaching Lily's kindergarten's basketball team. He is extremely aggressive in training the children, doing such things as forcing them to run and throwing basketballs at them when they don't conform to his standards. A flashback shows his father relentlessly training Marshall, yelling at him aggressively. Lily is shocked by this, as her usual training tactics involve playing a guitar and allowing the children to do whatever they like.
Barney continues to try to perform every action on the Murtaugh List, contracting an ear infection and spinal injuries in the process, from self-ear-piercing and sleeping on a futon, respectively. During a conversation with Robin, Ted reveals that he would prefer being older to being younger. Upon hearing this, Robin and Barney make Ted his own list of things he would do when he was older. Another bet is made between him and Barney to see who can complete their respective lists first, thus introducing the "gentleman's agreement".
Lily grows tired of Marshall's over competitive coaching and tells him off - fearing he will be father as he is a coach - forcing him to be less like his father and go easier on the children. During the game, they lose without scoring a single point, but Marshall realizes the value in playing for fun and makes good with Lily.
After being drugged at a rave, Barney is finally forced to accept the reality that he is growing older and gives Ted the victory. Having re-watched the complete Lethal Weapon series and Ted realizes that Murtaugh still did the things he claimed he was too old for, and decides that he has more to live for than waiting to grow older. He agrees to accompany Barney in covering the laser tag arena with toilet paper, despite winning the bet. Ted, Robin, and Barney are discovered by the laser tag arena owner, who pretends to be accepting of the situation before going to call the police and he walks away.
- Marshall and Lily have another telepathic conversation, which they did for the first time in Mary the Paralegal.
- Future Ted censors Roger Murtaugh's catchphrase by saying "stuff" instead. He does this for his kids numerous times throughout the series, most frequently by saying "eating a sandwich" to refer to smoking marijuana, first introduced in How I Met Everyone Else.
- Marshall having a large head, previously mentioned in Not a Father's Day when Robin makes a crack about it to convince Lily not to have kids, is brought up again, when a flashback reveals Marshall's father mocked him for it while putting him through a gruelling basketball training.
|Lily:||At tomorrow's game, if you're anything less than a teddy-bear stuffed with cotton-candy and rainbows, I will silent-treatment your ass into the ground. You will think the time I found your internet search history was a freakin' picnic.|
|Robin:||A Gentleman's agreement!|
|Barney and Ted:||Huzzah!|
|Mc Cracken:||Your way is totally stupid Stinson! Son you have been a pain in my ass But damn it if this ain't some of the finest TP work I've ever seen. You're reinstated effective immediately.|
|Mc Cracken:||Hell, no! I'm calling the police! Grown-ass man with pink hair throwing toilet paper. You've got to be kidding me,you're too old for this -|
|Future Ted:||Stuff. He said stuff.|
- —Mc Cracken is the owner of the lazer tag club, and is scolding Barney the way the police chief on Lethal Weapon scolds Rick and Murtaugh.
Notes and TriviaEdit
Goofs and ErrorsEdit
- After Barney and Robin return from the rave, Ted says he found some Russian beer in the basement. The beer is Švyturys Ekstra Draught, a Lithuanian beer.
- Although he probably wouldn't know that himself
- When the game owner scolds Barney for the second time at laser tag, he was seen stepping on a kid. A few seconds later, after the camera went back to Barney, the kid was already gone.
- When Ted is listing some examples from the Murtaugh list he says that one is doing an all-nighter however Barney sets himself 24 hours to complete the list. Barney then has to 'crash on a friends futon for the night' and it is shown that Barney woke up on the futon which suggested that he did not complete that part of the Murtaugh list
- However, in Aldrin Justice, when Barney first sleeps with Marshall's professor, he exclaims that he pulled an all-nighter.
- After telling Lily the backstory attributing his aggressive coaching style to his father, Marshall says "I totally gotta call that guy", implying he hasn't spoken with him in a while. However, it's established later in the Season 6 episode Big Days that Marshall talks to his dad daily.
Allusions and Outside ReferencesEdit
- The title is a reference to Roger Murtaugh, Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon film series.
- Barney yells "Barney Stinson" before entering the bathroom, a parody of the internet famous Leeroy Jenkins war cry.
- Lily's pep talk to Marshall to not be strict on the kids is a reference to the scene of Jessep being interrogated by Kaffee, Wienberg and Galloway from A Few Good Men.
- During the kindergarten basketball game, Ted mentions that Marshall's subsequent retelling of the events became more ridiculous each time. At first, the opposing team consisted of grown men, but Marshall's retelling grew to include a werewolf player. The flashback then includes several shots of the wolfman slam dunking the basketball, as an homage to Teen Wolf.
- The laser tag manager gives Barney one last chance but warns him he will be playing Duck Hunt if he doesn't behave. Duck Hunt is a video game from Nintendo that uses a light gun.
- When Barney gets warned that he will be banned from laser tag if he goes on playing so aggressively, one can read on the whiteboard behind him that he holds all the records.
- The reason they had a telepathic conversation in this episode is because Alyson Hannigan had laryngitis and could not talk.
- Throughout the episode, Alyson Hannigan has something in front of her stomach to hide her pregnancy. 
- Cobie Smulders is also pregnant during this episode. Her baby bump can be seen as well as she is also always covering her stomach like co-star Alyson Hannigan.
The Murtaugh ListEdit
The Murtaugh List was a list Ted created around the time he turned thirty. It was a list of things he felt he was too old to do, as a reminder to never attempt to do anything on the list. It's named after Roger Murtaugh, Danny Glover's character in the Lethal Weapon film series, due to Murtaugh's line "I'm too old for this shit". Barney and Ted make a deal that if Barney can do everything on the Murtaugh List in the next twenty-four hours, Ted has to TP the laser tag place with Barney. If he can't, Barney has to listen to Ted talk about Architecture for three hours. Below is a list of all the items on the Murtaugh List that are recited during the episode.
- Pull an all nighter.
- Eat an entire pizza in one sitting.
- Hang posters on your wall without frames.
- Get ear pierced.
- Do laundry at Mom's house.
- Crash on a friend's futon instead of getting a hotel room.
- Put off going to the doctor.
- Drinking shots with strangers.
- Leave an annoying two-person message on your answering machine.
- Help someone move out of a six-floor walk up in exchange for pizza and beer.
- Dye your hair a funny color.
- Go to a rave.
- Beer bong.
In response to Ted's Murtaugh List, Robin creates her own list of things that Ted is too young to do. Ted and Barney agree that if Ted can't finish Robin's List before Barney can finish the Murtaugh List, Ted will TP the laser tag place with Barney, and buy the toilet paper. If Barney doesn't finish the Murtaugh List first, Barney has to listen to Ted talk about Architecture for six hours, and he can't do anything on the Murtaugh List ever again. Below is a list of all the items on Robin's List that are recited during the episode.
- Have sex with an old lady
- Put on reading glasses.
- Yell at neighborhood kids.
- Wake up at 4 am.
- Take forever to answer the phone.
- Go to bed at 8 pm.
- Eat dinner at 4 pm.
- Charlie Stewart - Kenny
- Robert Wisdom - McCraken
- Bill Fagerbakke - Marvin Eriksen Sr.
- Andrew Astor - Addison
- Brian Patrick Collins - Teen Wolf
- Kaela Elmido - Girl
- Justin Lawrence - Ryan
- Labrandon Shead - Basketball Player
- The AV Club rated the episode giving it a B grade. 
- Michelle Zoromski of IGN gave the episode 9 out of 10. 
- Cindy McLennan of Television Without Pity rated the episode with a grade A-. 
- The St. Petersburg Comic Review gave this episode 7 out of 10 stars. "...'you're banned for life...' "
|Old King Clancy||Murtaugh |