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First appearance:
Also Known As:
Mary the paralegal
Gallery of Mary images (7)

Mary is a paralegal who lived in Barney's apartment building.

In Mary the Paralegal, Barney invites Mary to Robin's awards banquet as Ted's date. Barney tells Ted and Marshall that she is a prostitute, which makes them uncomfortable. Initially Ted does not want to bring Mary, but upon seeing Robin and her date Sandy Rivers Ted decides to bring her as his date, in hopes of making Robin jealous. Despite the fact that she is a prostitute, Ted and Mary really hit it off at the banquet. They go upstairs after the award show where Ted learns that Mary is, indeed, not a prostitute, but instead is actually a paralegal. Ted makes some rude remarks, insisting repeatedly that Mary is a prostitute. The last we hear of Mary is when Ted tells Barney, "She slapped me and stormed off".

Ted: Ok, look. Mary. I like you a lot. I'm sort of amazed at how much I like you, but... I can't do this, You're a hooker.
Mary: What?
Ted: Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I'm sorry. That's a deal breaker for me. I'm not going to have sex with a prostitute.
Mary: Ted, I'm a paralegal.
Ted: C'mon Mary. There's no-one else around. You're a hooker.
Mary: No, Ted. I'm a paralegal.
Ted: No... You're a hooker.
Mary: No... I'm a paralegal.
Ted: (pausing, realisation, consternation) You're a paralegal.
(Mary raises eyebrow)

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