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Barney writing on his blog

Barney's Blog is a blog kept by Barney Stinson, one of the main characters of How I Met Your Mother. Each entry is usually in response to what occurs during the episodes.

Blog Entries[]

Blog header

  1. Ted Suits Up
  2. Venn Diagram...
  3. Lick My Bells
  4. Directions To The Dump
  5. Shooting Women In A Barrel
  6. Update
  7. Findings
  8. Halloween Sluts
  9. Barney's Mail "Sack"
  10. Lemon Law
  11. Holiday Spirits
  12. Let's Close A Deal
  13. Barney's Mail "Sack" 2
  14. A Term Is Conceived
  15. Party Alert!
  16. Getting Unpsyched Through Film
  17. Barney's Mail "Sack" 3
  18. Breaking Down Bridesmaids
  19. Haiku? Hiya!
  20. Brocabulary Lesson
  21. When Should You Wear Jeans To A Strip Club... Never!
  22. Winter Oh! - Lympics
  23. Recycling
  24. Launching A Thousand Relationships
  25. Sweet Sixteen
  26. Road To My Pants
  27. The Air Up There
  28. Too Tall For My Britches
  29. Diversifying Your Online Portfolio
  30. Sexual Profiling
  31. An Open Letter To Clark Butterfield
  32. Waterbed's Death Bed
  33. Barneypalooza 2006
  34. Chicks x 2
  35. Rack-Jack Alert
  36. Occupation Stimulation
  37. The Amazing Morning-After System
  38. Huntin' Coug
  39. Swarley's Blog
  40. Barney's Guide To Gambling
  41. Sunken Treasure
  42. Stinson V. Stinson
  43. Take Two Awesomes And Don't Call Me In The Morning
  44. Popping Your Big Apple
  45. The Barnabus Stinson Presidential Library
  46. The Stinson Super Bowl Party Sportsbook
  47. Barney's Mail "Sack" 4
  48. The Barney Stinson Theatre Experience
  49. License Not To Drive
  50. Stinson's Instant Love Nest - "STILN"
  51. The Barney Stinson Bachelor Party Experience
  52. The Price Is Always Right
  53. It's For The Bride Scavenger Hunt
  54. Visual Aid? Visual Laid
  55. Tattoozled
  56. Just Visiting!
  57. Three-Way
  58. Sexploration
  59. The Hot/Crazy Scale
  60. Ted Mosby, Sex Architect
  61. Barney's Mail "Sack" 5
  62. St. Barney's Day
  63. 8.3 Seconds – That’s All You’ve Got To Make A First Impression
  64. Scrapbooking
  65. The Pyramid Of Screaming
  66. Beach Videos
  67. The Bro Code
  68. A Call To Wings
  69. Barney's Mail "Sack" 6
  70. Emrgency Rroom
  71. Overcoming Illness
  72. The Host With The Most
  73. I Heart NJ
  74. Interveneous Injection
  75. The Bro Code 2
  76. Doing Hard Time
  77. Not A Father's Day
  78. Barney Stinson University (B.S.U.)
  79. Naked Man!
  80. Everybody's Kung-Fu Fighting
  81. Dear Santa
  82. Barney's Mail "Sack" 7
  83. Bingo!
  84. Italian Leather Clad Foot In The Door
  85. Casting Couch
  86. The Greatest Story Ever Told
  87. Couture Watch: Nightshirt Makes Night Moves
  88. Oh Canada
  89. Old Person Quiz
  90. The Fantasy Fantasy League
  91. 3, 4, Knock On My Door
  92. Crunching The Numbers
  93. As Fast As I Can
  94. Barney's Mail "Sack" 8
  95. Define This!
  96. Why Girls MUST Wear Jeans to a Strip Club...
  97. Notes From Class: Robin 101
  98. Worst Night Ever
  99. Canadian Citizenship
  100. Barney Knows
  101. Girls Or Food
  102. The Playbook
  103. The Slap Stops Here!
  104. Dress To Impress
  105. Girls Vs. Suits - This Time Its Personal!
  106. Martin Luther King Day
  107. Roosevelt Peter "Mustache Pete" Drexel
  108. Super Bowl
  109. A History Of Hotness
  110. Barney's Book Report
  111. How To Take Perfect Pictures
  112. What History Says
  113. Shedding A Tear
  114. Kiddie Rules
  115. Movie Review: The Wedding Bride (2010)
  116. 45
  117. Summer Breeze... Up The Summer Skirt
  118. From The Files Of Li'l Barney
  119. The Playbook!
  120. Boobonyms
  121. A Bro-Working Relationship
  122. Challenge Accepted!
  123. Calling All Hotties
  124. Barney Stinson: A Life Of Awesome
  125. No Porn? No Prob!
  126. Blitz
  127. "How To Be Awesome" - Chapter 83: The Mermaid Theory
  128. Barney's Favorite Things
  129. Partner Up
  130. Hard To Get
  131. A Public Service Announcement
  132. The Sex Sense
  133. My One And Only Rule
  134. Father & Son
  135. Personality Improvements
  136. Boom Goes The Dynamite
  137. Landmarks
  138. R & Double D
  139. Truth Stretchers
  140. Duck You, Marshall Eriksen
  141. Dr. Barney Stinson's Consultations
  142. Brocus Group
  143. How To Dress... Your Baby
  144. The Awesomest Things
  145. Oh, Canada...
  146. It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And You Feel Foin!)
  147. Two Bros And A Baby
  148. Shafted
  149. Puzzles!
  150. Barney For Leader
  151. Barney's Mail "Sack" 9
  152. EPS
  153. The Sex Tape Conundrum
  154. A Rose By Any Other Name
  155. Broman Empire
  156. Patent Pending
  157. Barney's Mail "Sack" 10
  158. Come Work For Goliath National Bank
  159. The Great Barndini
  160. Interrogation Room, Sweet Interrogation Room
  161. Phone Sex Mad-Libs
  162. The Pre-Shtup
  163. The Stinsonian Calendar
  164. Splitsville
  165. Jury Booty
  166. Stinson's Choice
  167. Bro Bibs
  168. The Bro Code For Parents
  169. Bro-Dog Accessories
  170. The Twelve Days Of Christmas
  171. Jinx!
  172. New Play!
  173. The Splendiferous Adventures...
  174. Prop 69
  175. Kicked in the Donuts
  176. Personal Brolongings
  177. The Ashtray
  178. The Weekend at Barney's
  179. High-Five Realty
  180. Uncle Barney's Mail Sack
  181. Ridonkulous
  182. The Bro-Mitzvah
  183. Greater NY's Laser Tag Rankings
  184. Public Service Bronouncement
  185. From the Brotebook
  186. Great Grandmother Russia
  187. The Night Of The Barely Living Dead
  188. Broliferation
  189. Fake Listening
  190. Wedding Questionnaire
  191. Another Grate Idea
  192. Weigh To Go
  193. Bangevator Conversion Kit
  194. The Player King Of New York City
  195. Awesome Idea Exchange
  196. That's The Dream
  197. Slap Judgement
  198. BUI (Blogging Under the Influence)
  199. Holiday Ins
  200. The Awesome Rules
  201. Too Many Manhattans
  202. Suits For Sale
  203. The Mosby Boys
  204. App-Bro-Tizers
  205. Failed Marriage Vows
  206. High Infinity
  207. The End

Episode Mentions[]

The following is a list of episodes where Barney's Blog is specifically mentioned by one of the characters.

Pilot[]

While riding in a cab, Barney's so excited Ted finally suited up at his request that he's going to put it in his blog.

"Look at you, you beautiful bastard, you suited up. This is totally going in my blog."

Okay Awesome[]

Barney tells Lily one of the twenty-four similarities between women and fish, realizing that since she didn't know that, she didn't read his blog.

"One of the twenty-four similarities between women and fish is that they're both attracted to shiny objects. You really never read my blog, do you?"

Wait For It[]

Barney angrily shouts to Ted when he ditches him to get a tattoo with Amy.

"This is so going in my blog!"

The Bracket[]

Ted explains to the group why Barney goes to pet stores to pick up women.

"God bless you, Ted. You're reading my blog."

Ted admits it and explains he is often bored at work. Later in his apartment, Barney is seen typing into his blog, reflecting on all the women he saw earlier as part of of his search for the mystery girl. However the entry was never really posted.

Rebound Bro[]

Barney's co-worker Randy, who Barney asks to be his wingman when he and Ted aren't talking, says that he regularly reads the blog.

"I have been reading your blog for years. You are like a god to me. "

Rabbit or Duck[]

Robin's co-worker Don is naked when Robin enters his house.

"...It's called 'The Naked Man' I read it on some guy's blog."

Doppelgangers[]

In the cab, Barney mentions a rule from his blog to Marshall.

"The rule is no kids until you're at least 45. Do you ever read my blog?! It's gotten a lot better."

Last Forever - Part One[]

Barney gets in a fight with Robin about being unable to post a boner joke on the blog due to their constant travel, leading into their divorce.

"It's not a business, Barney, it's a blog, okay?"

Notes and Trivia[]

  • Barney's Blog is maintained and written each week by Matt Kuhn, one of the writers for the show.
  • The song that plays when Barney is seen typing on his blog in The Bracket​ is the theme song for the show "Doogie Howser, M.D.". This memento from the beginning of Neil Patrick Harris' career makes the entire scene resemble the scene at the end of every episode of "Doogie Howser M.D." where Doogie would write an entry in his digital diary.
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