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Barney's Blog: The Host With The Most

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This is the seventy-second entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive Here.

This entry is in response to the episode The Best Burger in New York.

The Host with the MostEdit


Recently I had dinner with the most successful host in the history of television, Regis Philbin, and it got me thinking - if that crazy fella can do it, why can't Barney Stinson? After all, what qualities make a great host?

Personality -- Check Awesomeness -- Check Good Looks -- Check

Below are a few shows that I'd love to host. Let me know your favorite and I'll pitch it to Reeg the next time I see him at the gym.


20 nubile vixens compete against each other in trivia, physical challenges, and pillow fights before one lucky guy chooses a girl and asks the judges... Is She Legal?

Location: International waters

Judges: A panel of law enforcement officers poised to arrest the contestant if he chooses poorly

Prize: Free lifetime legal counsel by the lawyer of your choice

Sponsor: Thailand Tourism Board


500 girls in skin-tight white t-shirts vie to see who can make their t-shirt the wettest

Location: A different city each week... regrets, Buffalo

Judges: A panel composed of Swimsuit models, firemen, and Olympic gold medal swimmer, Michael Phelps

Prize: Each week's winner will board the America's Wettest T-Shirt tour bus and earn an automatic entry in the season-ending tournament of champions, held in my pants

Sponsor: The NBA - The National Breast Augmentation Society


Each week a father and son unite, forgive each other, and start their relationship anew

Location: The heart

Judges: No one should judge the relationship between father and son

Prize: The chance to finally play catch with your pop

Sponsor: The NBA - The National Basketball Association


Up and coming tailors prove their mettle by making me new top of the line suits every week

Location: Milan

Judges: Pieces will be judged on the following categories:
1. Wear-ability

2. Remove-ability

3. Get-Barney-laid-ability

Prize: I get a nice suit and, depending on its quality, laid

Sponsor: Barney's New York. Duh.


Unknown contestants are woken up early in the morning following a one-night stand and have one minute to dress and escape before we wake up the chick. If the clock expires or the contestant leaves any personal belongings, he may wind up stuck in a relationship.

Location: A bedroom near you

Judges: A panel made up of myself, Scott Baio and Lorenzo Lamas

Prize: Freedom

Sponsor: Trojan "Together we can end Feelings"

Notes and TriviaEdit

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