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Barney's Blog: The Host With The Most

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This is the seventy-second entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive Here.

This entry is in response to the episode The Best Burger in New York.

The Host with the MostEdit

(9/29/08)


Recently I had dinner with the most successful host in the history of television, Regis Philbin, and it got me thinking - if that crazy fella can do it, why can't Barney Stinson? After all, what qualities make a great host?


Personality -- Check Awesomeness -- Check Good Looks -- Check


Below are a few shows that I'd love to host. Let me know your favorite and I'll pitch it to Reeg the next time I see him at the gym.


IS SHE LEGAL?


20 nubile vixens compete against each other in trivia, physical challenges, and pillow fights before one lucky guy chooses a girl and asks the judges... Is She Legal?


Location: International waters


Judges: A panel of law enforcement officers poised to arrest the contestant if he chooses poorly


Prize: Free lifetime legal counsel by the lawyer of your choice


Sponsor: Thailand Tourism Board


AMERICA'S WETTEST T-SHIRT


500 girls in skin-tight white t-shirts vie to see who can make their t-shirt the wettest


Location: A different city each week... regrets, Buffalo


Judges: A panel composed of Swimsuit models, firemen, and Olympic gold medal swimmer, Michael Phelps


Prize: Each week's winner will board the America's Wettest T-Shirt tour bus and earn an automatic entry in the season-ending tournament of champions, held in my pants


Sponsor: The NBA - The National Breast Augmentation Society


FATHERS AND SONS


Each week a father and son unite, forgive each other, and start their relationship anew


Location: The heart


Judges: No one should judge the relationship between father and son


Prize: The chance to finally play catch with your pop


Sponsor: The NBA - The National Basketball Association


THE NEXT GREAT TAILOR


Up and coming tailors prove their mettle by making me new top of the line suits every week


Location: Milan


Judges: Pieces will be judged on the following categories:
1. Wear-ability


2. Remove-ability


3. Get-Barney-laid-ability


Prize: I get a nice suit and, depending on its quality, laid


Sponsor: Barney's New York. Duh.


DON'T FORGET YOUR WALLET


Unknown contestants are woken up early in the morning following a one-night stand and have one minute to dress and escape before we wake up the chick. If the clock expires or the contestant leaves any personal belongings, he may wind up stuck in a relationship.


Location: A bedroom near you


Judges: A panel made up of myself, Scott Baio and Lorenzo Lamas


Prize: Freedom


Sponsor: Trojan "Together we can end Feelings"


Notes and TriviaEdit

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