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Barney's Blog: The Barney Stinson Theatre Experience

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This is the forty-eighth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive here.

This entry is in response to the episode Stuff.

The Barney Stinson Theatre ExperienceEdit

Tuesday, February 20, 2007


As many of you know, I'm an art enthusiast, a patron if you will. Personally, I've sponsored many a dancer and it's been so stimulating to watch them achieve such new and flexible heights.

Recently, I turned my creative energy toward proving that playwriting is a cinch: in fact, with the lights off, anything can be a great performance. So may I humbly present to you excerpted selections from the Barney Stinson Theatre Experience (Copyright, 2007).

Love always,
The Bardney

CURTAIN UP:
A handsome gentleman saunters onto the stage. Coocooca choo

ME
Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist. Moist.

Repeat for forty minutes.

COSTUME CHANGE: ROBOT, Cornelia Danielia

ME (CONT'D)
Car factory. Lay off. Lost and alone. Oil change!
WD-40?

Robot walks stage right (or left). In a robot manner, pick up watering can. Pour some water in flower pot.

SPECIAL EFFECTS: Flowers sprout. Robot surprised! Robot smells the flower. More surprise. Improvise dance for 15 to 20 minutes.

ME (CONT'D)
Feelings. Inside. Oh no!

COSTUME CHANGE: NUDE

ME (CONT'D)
Insurance. Anatomy. Pharmaceutical sales.
Sculpture. The locksmith. The David.

Jumping jacks - 10 to 15, depending on the moment.

MUSIC CUE: Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes."

COSTUME CHANGE: JUDGE'S ROBES

ME (CONT'D)
I object! Sustained. Overruled. Counselor, where are you going with this? I'll allow it. I rule in favor of the plaintiff. You must give the defendant... one hug... of a bear variety!

COSTUME CHANGE: KING OF ENGLAND

ME (CONT'D)
Hear ye, hear ye! From this day forward, I do hereby declare, that the third Monday of every month shall be...

The King drops dead. LIGHT CUE: Shut off. CUE: Applause/adulation.

If you are interested in staging your own production of the BSTE, go ahead. Just send me the link to your video at barneystinson@yahoo.com. Theater is a living being and should be free to all.


Notes and TriviaEdit

Previous entry
Barney's Mail "Sack" 4
The Barney Stinson Theatre Experience
(all blog entries)
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License Not To Drive

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