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This entry is in response to the episode Okay Awesome.
Shooting Women In A BarrelEdit
Thursday, October 13, 2005, 8:30pm
Lately I've been hunting for an appropriate venue to test my new club uniform: a button-down Euroshirt with a reflective disco ball sheen. Ridiculous under the halogen lights of your average apartment? Perhaps. But when bathed in the ultraviolet wash of your standard nightclub, the shirt emits a pheromonal luminescence no club-going woman can resist. Why? Biology lesson: Women, like fish, are attracted to shiny and/or effulgent objects. In fact, those of you with a keen eye have surely noted that women are becoming increasingly indistinguishable from fish, as illustrated in the following scientific observations:
TWENTY-FOUR WAYS IN WHICH WOMEN ARE LIKE FISH
- Both attracted to shiny objects
- More fun to catch while drinking
- Neither travel well
- There's others in the sea and/or bar
- Three words: catch and release
- Both travel in protective groups
- Small bladders
- The deeper you go, the scarier they get
- Their weight largely determines their value
- [EDITED: My lawyer has requested that I remove this one from the blog… hint: crabs!]
- They get all ornery if you try to grab their tail
- Bears will eat either of them
- Sometimes I likes 'em wild, sometimes I likes 'em farm-raised
- You must document great catches or no one will believe you -- video preferred
- Easier to reel in if you let them wear themselves out first
- Seen the movie Splash? Case closed
- Cold blooded. Looking your way, Stacy.
- Neither can operate a vehicle
- They both eat things
- The harder they shake their tail, the further they'll go in life
- Scales are important to each of them
- They never have to buy drinks
- Umm… Eggs? Duh
- Can hook either with a great line
Notes and TriviaEdit
- Barney mentions the first of these twenty-four similarities in the episode Okay Awesome.
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