Ad blocker interference detected!
Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers
Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.
This entry is in response to the episode The Best Man.
R & Double REdit
September 19, 2011
As detailed in my best-selling book, “The Playbook,” (available wherever fine books are sold), the ingenious moves I use to ensnare ladies do not just come to me in my dreams… though I have dreamt of what happens when they work (SPOILER: I have sex.).
Crafting a successful play takes hours and hours of dedicated research culminating in a “dry” run where I hope the results are anything but. I generally perform these trials in a smaller market first. That way I can analyze the results and tweak the play before I try tweaking anything else with the local big-league talent.
As you can see, there’s a lot more that goes into determining a play’s success than a simple, “Did I cork the bottle or not?” As I always say: You need quality R & D if you want quality T & A.
On a recent research trip to Cleveland, I tried out five new plays:
- “The World Record Holder” - “The Patient Zero” - “The Escaped Manslaughter” (a new version of “The Ex-Con”) - “The Vampire Mark Zuckerberg” - “The Hawaiian King”
After each play crashed and burned, I conducted a quick exit interview to help determine how it can be improved. Here is the survey I used for “The Hawaiian King.”
EXIT SURVEY – “THE HAWAIIAN KING”
I’m sorry you weren’t able to accommodate my penis at this time. So that I might be able to better bang you or others more attractive than you in the future, please answer the following questions:
1) On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “astronomically far” and 10 being “inches,” how close did this play come to getting it done?
2) If you answered 10, is there anything I can do to close the deal right now?
3) Which of the following props most strongly suggested that I rule sovereign over the Hawaiian islands and their people?
- A) The gilded ukulele
- B) Skin bronzer
- C) “King of Hawaii” keychain
- D) My coconut thong
4) Was I not suggestive enough when I asked if you wanted to taste my macadamia nuts?
5) Have you been to or seen pictures of Hawaii? Are you sure, because I own all of that.
6) Would this gambit have worked had I said I was the King of Fiji? What about Africa? It’s way bigger...
7) Do you have any suggestions for how I can improve this play? I’d really appreciate the help since it’s so hard to meet normal women as a secret billionaire.
Notes and TriviaEdit
|Landmarks||R & Double R |
(all blog entries)