This is the forty-fourth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive Here.

This entry is in response to the episode First Time In New York.

Popping Your Big Apple

Tuesday, January 9, 2007

Welcome to the greatest city on the planet. Undoubtedly, you'll want to make your first time in New York a memorable and enjoyable experience. I've experienced many, many first timers-many--so I'm a natural choice to be your guide. Here is a handy pocket guide to help make your first time in New York a success.

Your first time on the subway can be risky business, but it's well worth the $2 fare. The same amount of enjoyable, work-free shaking would cost you well over $6 in your average motel massage bed. But exercise caution: touching the third rail can lead to a premature end of your first-time experience.

Ah, the Great White Way. The lights, the sounds, the dark, hidden crevices of age-old theaters. Musicals tend to be better for first-timers than, say, one-woman shows. Singing and tap dancing provide the perfect cover for you and your partner to hit your own high notes. But remember, don't try to sneak backstage your first time.

New York is the capital of the world, and you'll certainly want to taste her international flavors. While it's great to exercise your diplomatic skills with people from around the world, be sure to wrap yourself in your nation's flag for protection. You don't want your first foreign experience to be your last. No need to worry about communication barriers; the language of love is universal.

New York is renowned both for its modernity and its art. Combine the two and visit the world-famous MOMA. There, first timers can create their own modern-art masterpieces. Several lucky ladies have credited yours truly with inspiring their own "artistic" awakenings. Be wary of the security staff and remember: flash photography is permitted, but be sure to ask before you touch anything.

Notes and Trivia

Previous entry
Take Two Awesomes And Don't Call Me In The Morning
Popping Your Big Apple
(all blog entries)
Next entry →
The Barnabus Stinson Presidential Library

Ad blocker interference detected!

Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.