This is the one hundred and thirty-seventh entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode Landmarks.


May 9, 2011

Forget every other rule I've ever stated because every other rule I've ever stated is old and I have only one rule: New is always better. That being said, there are some places on the Earth – older places - that are pretty cool and shouldn't necessarily be replaced by newer ones or augmented with bigger boobs.

Below is a list of locations that have earned "landmark" status in my own life.

MY BED: The epicenter of Awesomeness. It should be preserved and studied for future generations… many of whom may have been conceived in, on, or under it.

JESSE LANGDORF'S CHILDHOOD HOUSE: Who is Jesse Langdorf? Shame on you for not knowing he was the American tailor who invented the all-weather wrinkle free neck-tie. Pay homage.

CIRO'S PIZZERIA, EAST MEADOW, NY: Drunk, stranded, and disoriented after learning the exciting way why they're called bridge and tunnel chicks, this local pizza joint totally Bro'd me out with two slices and a half dozen g-knots before directing me to the nearest train station.

MADISON SQUARE GARDEN: World famous arena home to countless classic boxing matches, basketball games, and concerts, this hallowed ground also played host to a thrilling, white-knuckle overtime event in section 323 during an otherwise ho-hum Rangers' game between me, a chick named Cindy, and her flexible friend… Sarah? Sasha? Something with an "S"…

MACLAREN'S BATHROOM: Where I met my best friend Ted Mosby and totally changed his life. Also where I met many of Ted's dates and totally changed their lives for a solid 5 – 7 minutes. Shhhh!

EMPIRE STATE BUILDING: Cool building that resembles a giant, Art Deco penis.

LUSTY LEOPARD VIP ROOM: Let's just say you'll need an ultraviolet light to see my signature.

LINCOLN CENTER FOR THE PERFORMING ARTS: What? A Bro can't take an evening off and enjoy the Royal Shakespeare Company? Jeeze Louise. Also, I once banged a ballerina backstage.

THE ARCADIAN: Hahahaha! Totally kidding. Tear that bitch down.

SAL'S LASER TAG EMPORIUM, WEST NYACK, NY: A young, unranked laser tag player wins his first invisibility match (and coupon for 1 free funnel cake). That player's name? Barney Stinson. True story.

Notes and Trivia

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