This is the fifty-sixth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive here.

This entry is in response to the episode We're Not From Here.

Just Visiting!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

If you can stomach walking around dressed like someone’s dad, pretending to be a tourist in your own hometown is a great way to score chicks. All you need is a map, a fanny pack, and a brand new identity. I can’t help with the first two, but I can certainly help you create a believable back-story that promises to turn your waning local love life into a fiery, no-strings attached romp. Sorry! No time to stick around - you’ve got a flight to catch.

Hi, I’m (real first name) __________ (bird of prey) ___________. I’m from (compass direction) _________ (biblical locale) ___________, (Midwestern or rectangular state) ___________. Go fightin’ (woodland creatures) ____________! Yep, it’s a great place to grow up. Walking down Main Street at (time of day) _________, and dropping in at (3-letter male name) _____________’s for some homemade (diabetic dessert) __________, well it makes my eyes water and my tummy grumble just thinking about it, yes siree. From time to time I like to check in on ol’ Mrs. (tree species) _________, bless her heart, and her prize winning (color) __________ (vegetable) __________s. My high school sweetheart (flower type) ____________ and I used to neck up on (dangerous animal) _____________ (body of water) _________ Point. Thought we’d get married but the good Lord had other plans for her in the form of a (American sedan) __________ losing control ‘round (American president) ________’s Curve. After she passed, I took up (piece of furniture) ____________ whittling to ease the pain, but golly, I sure don’t meet many ladies in that line of work, 'specially not ones as pretty as you. Gosh, you’re prettier than a (barnyard animal) ___________ on a (season) _________ day glistening in the (celestial body) __________ shine.

Notes and Trivia

  • Barney previously used a pre-written letter with blanks to fill in during Ted Mosby: Architect, to explain leaving Anna's apartment.
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