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Barney's Blog: Holiday Ins

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This is the one hundred and ninety-ninth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode How Your Mother Met Me.

HOLIDAY INSEdit

Jan 27, 2014

The holidays often bring about strong feelings in people: nostalgia, thankfulness, and, of course, horniness. That means for gents and ladies on the prowl, you don’t necessarily need to bring your A-game. In fact, the holidays present the perfect opportunity to utilize the minimum effort required of mankind’s most basic move – the pick-up line.

HISTORICAL FACTOID: Did you know that the first pick-up line was actually the first instance of human language? A Neanderthal man approached a hairy Neanderthal chick and said: “If I show you my bone will you show me your cave?”

Here are some lazy but effective lines to try out during the holidays:

Presidents’ Day: I’d like to visit YOUR oval office.

Groundhog Day: My hog can’t help but see his shadow.

Valentine’s Day: Single?

St. Patrick’s Day: I will shamrock your world.

Arbor Day: I wanna make you bark. / Check out my trunk. / I’d like to give you my branch and then leave. (Treeway tie)

Cinco De Mayo: Wanna have breakfast on Sixo de Mayo?

Memorial Day: You make it hard to fly my flag at half-staff.

Labor Day: It’s Labor Day, baby, why are you workin’ it?

Election Day: More like “Erection Day!”

Thanksgiving: Anything involving stuffing!


Notes and TriviaEdit

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