This entry is in response to the episode Oh Honey.
Hard To Get
February 07, 2011
If you read my blog often, or simply live on this planet, you know that 100% of ladies play "hard-to-get." Recently, my best friend Ted and I found ourselves in an uncomfortable situation: a beautiful girl at the bar was stroking his arm and looking deep into his eyes, but the straw in her drink— was pointing towards me. To a trained seduction artist like myself, it was obvious that this girl was teasing me with a classic game of "hard-to-get," while poor Ted was playing his own classic game of "gettin' hard"— a game he only plays with himself.
Here are ten other instances in which it may appear that a girl is uninterested, but is actually just playing "hard-to-get."
1. If she tells you she's "married."
This is chick-code for "I haven't done it in months, take me now."
2. If you're blocking her path to the bathroom and she says, "Pardon me."
Take away the P, A, R, and N and you have "Do me." It doesn't get much clearer than that. She wants you to join her in stall #3.
3. If she slaps you.
You know what they say: any physical contact is good contact. Be sure to establish a "safe word" beforehand. I recommend "help!"
4. If she insists the bouncers escort you out of the bar.
She wants to get you away from her friends and have you all to herself.
5. If she's eating pretzels.
Wants you to wrap her legs up in knots. Duh.
6. If the email she gives you ends with @prodigy.net.
She wants your junk, not your junk mail. No post-coital conversation required.
7. If she refuses your offer to buy her a drink.
She wants you to buy her dinner instead – in which case, bail. That's way too much effort when there's probably a girl nearby eating pretzels.
8. If she doesn't answer your phone calls.
She's letting your calls go to voicemail so she can listen to your voice over and over and over again. She horny!
9. If she's buttoning up her jacket and turning her body away from you.
She's teasing you by covering up her heaving bosom.
10. If she pulls you aside and says, "Seriously. You need to stop stalking me. You've been creeping me out all night. I'm about to call the cops."
Wink! It doesn't get much "harder to get" than that.
Notes and Trivia
- Barney previously explained how he never buys a girl dinner in Unfinished.
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