This is the one hundred and eighty-fifth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode The Locket.


Sep 24, 2013

Loyal Barnerians,

Every once in a while I like to flip through my trusty Bro Notebook, or “Brotebook” (Ó, Ò, Ô… basically I call “dibs”). Amongst the countless pearls of wisdom I stumbled across a realization I made on the way to my wedding: I invited a lot of nut jobs.

You see, at any given wedding, there are always a few ticking time bombs just waiting to go off. Call them wild cards, call them characters, or call them crazy, but most people just call them family.

Below is the list of guests I thought might reasonably ruin my wedding. As is so often the case, I didn’t even think of the real wild card...




Transgendered Duets

Uncle Vic

Casual Racist

Aunt Shelly

Braless Dance Machine

Cousin Mitch


Cousin Cecil*

Amateur Stuntman

Cousin Alfonso

Sexually Attracted To Cakes

Aunt Muriel

Frequently Tells Unsolicited, Gory Stories About Life As An E.R. Nurse**


Backyard Pyrotechnics Choreographer

Aunt Louise

Weasel Breeder

Uncle Richard

Severe/Explosive Flower Allergy

Little Jimmy

Upskirt Photography

Grandma Gladys

Chronic Nip-Slippery

Cousin Bernard

Plays A Little Fast And Loose With Accepted Rules Of Black Tie Decorum


**not actually an E.R. nurse

Notes and Trivia

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