This is the seventieth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive Here.

This entry is in response to the episode Miracles.



Thweers bwwn an accieernht. Ok thus isn't wirkuing/

Hello, I'm Bill, a nurse here at St. Anthony's. Patient Stinson here asked me to type this stupid blog for him because he's suffered severe injuries to over 83% of his body. He says he'll pay me quite handsomely and judging by the stack of hundreds I found in the suit we cut off him, I believe him. So here goes.

"Barnacles, when you find yourself in pursuit of the ladies, you may be forced to don a disguise of a less awesome nature, such as a full body cast. Now…"

Hold on. What the hell is a Barnacle? And are you saying you wear a costume when you're trying to pick up chicks?

uM. yeAh.


oT gEt therm tro go home wiyth me.

That's kind of pathetic, no? Seems to me you'd look like a damn fool wearing a costume in the middle of the club. Don't people laugh at you?


Sure they don't.

Tey dwont!

Why don't you just be honest about yourself and tell a woman she looks beautiful? Usually works for me, and I empty bedpans for a living.

Wrll you're during It wrOng!!!

That's funny. I have not one, but two lady friends from last night who may beg to differ.


Okay, anyone who is actually reading this blog: You're being misled. Meeting women is not that complicated. You don't need capes or costumes or whatever. Just show an interest in what she likes. Make her feel special. Oh, and wear a suit.

iM ntt gong to payy you noww.

Huh. Then I guess I'll be a little slower with your morphine drip.


Notes and Trivia

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Barney's Mail "Sack" 6
Emrgency Rroom
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Overcoming Illness

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