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Barney's Blog: Canadian Citizenship

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This is the ninety-ninth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the Barney's Blog at CBS.com Here.

This entry is in response to the episode Duel Citizenship.

Canadian CitizenshipEdit

October 19, 2009


Picture this: You’re hitch-hiking in Winnipeg in July. Which means it’s freezing out, so you hop in without properly addressing the situation. About a half mile down the road, you’re perturbed when you realize the driver is a crazy murderer and before you can say “Stop what you’re doing, eh!” you are impaled on the blade of his hockey stick. That my friends, is a normal day in Canada.


Himym duel citizenship barneys blog 2


Now why would anyone want to become a citizen of this backwards “country?” This is one of the great remaining mysteries of the world –- right up there with Stonehenge, crop circles, and why all Brazilian women are 10’s.


Himym duel citizenship barneys blog 1


Well, I have a plan. If enough of us Uncle Sam lovin’, red white and blue bleedin’ patriots take the Canadian citizenship test, we can vote to make it our fifty-first state and dissolve it once and for all. With that in mind, here’s a cheat sheet to the Canadian citizenship test.


The Official Canadian Citizenship Test for Canadian Citzenship


1) Do you want to be a Canadian?


2) Really?


3) Which is more fun?


eh) Watching hockey

b) Having Sex


4) Alex Trebek is ________


eh) Canadian

b) Creepy

c) Canadian and Creepy


5) Which country do you most wish you were really a citizen of?


eh) U.S.A.

b) All of the above


6) Moose are __________


eh) A National Treasure

b) Good eats

c) Proctoring this test


7) The colors of the Canadian Flag are:


eh) Red and White

b) Maple Syrup and Mountie

c) Cold


8) Canada's Biggest Export is:


eh) Petroleum

b) Teeth

c) Mustachioed Game Show Hosts


9) Boxing Day is:


eh) A Holiday celebrated the day after Christmas

b) A day devoted to punching people? The sounds awesome!


10) If you answered "yes" to questions 1 and 2, there is still time to back out. Just get up and walk away and no will be the wiser.

Notes and TriviaEdit

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Canadian Citizenship
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