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Barney's Blog: Barney Stinson University (B.S.U.)

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This is the seventy-eighth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the CBS archive Here.

This entry is in response to the episode Woooo!.

Barney Stinson University (B.S.U.)Edit

November 17, 2008


OPEN ENROLLMENT -- COURSE ADDITION

SOC 435 -- Woo and You: A Study of Woo Girls in their Natural Habitats

Course Objective: For students to gain a greater knowledge and insight into the species of Woo Girl and their various breeds and types. Course will be hands on/pants off and focus specifically on Woo Girl haunts such as Mardi Gras, Western Themed Bars, and Spring Break. At the end of the ten week session, students are expected to have thorough and exhaustive knowledge of Woo Girl culture and mating rituals.


Prerequisites: Students shall have successfully passed both CGR 105 (An Introduction To Cougars) and ADV BRST 235 (Differential Equations and Matrix Algebra of Breasts.) Enrollment is limited to upper classmen only.


Professor: Stinson, B.


Class Schedule:


Week 1: WHAT IS A WOO?

An overview of Woous Normalus and their place in history, society, and mythology. Special guest lecturer: 3-time Wet T-shirt champion Tara Collins.


Week 2: THE CALL OF THE WOO

An in-depth look at the mating call. In the laboratory, students will master both the tonal aspects and wavelength duration of a Woo call. Later, during advanced fieldwork, students will attempt to infiltrate a pack of Woo girls, observe them in their native environments, and record and submit the phone numbers of any hot ones.


Week 3: THE BEAD INDUSTRY

The symbiotic relationship between young, impressionable women and shiny round objects on strings. We will examine both the micro and macro economics of Wooing.


Week 4: SUB-SPECIES OF WOO

Woous Vegasus, Woous PanamaCityus, and Woous SouthPadreus. We will explore their differences and similarities as well as their journey from Daddy’s Little Girl to Bad Relationships, and how the Discovery of Madori affects this evolution.


Week 5: MOVIE NIGHT

In what has traditionally been a popular lecture, students will analyze and deconstruct a collection of Girls Gone Wild DVD’s.


Week 6: WOO GIRLS AT THE WORKPLACE

An analysis of Woo Girl professionals. Lecture will focus through a historical lens, highlighting Woo girls in the workplace from the early days of aviation hospitality to present day pharmaceutical sales.


Week 7: FIELD TRIP TO MARDI GRAS

Students will observe the highest Holy Day of Woo, in the Wooiest City in the World.


Week 8: ORAL PRESENTATIONS

Students present theses prepared over this intensive two month course. Suggested topics include: The Seasons of Woo, The Origins of Woo, and Woos in World War II.


Required Reading:


-- Subscription to Cosmopolitan magazine

-- STA Spring Break Travel Guide ‘09

-- The Female Anatomy, 1991 ed.

-- The Bro Code

-- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire


Required Viewing:


-- Charlie’s Angels: The Complete First Season

-- Wild Things

-- Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Season Yearbook 1994

-- MTV’s The Grind: Complete Series


Notes and TriviaEdit

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Not A Father's Day
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Naked Man!

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