This entry is in response to the episode Atlantic City.
Barney's Guide To Gambling
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
It's not gambling when you know you're going to win, and if you play long enough, eventually you will win. That's a fact. Learned it from a friend who OWNS a casino.
Here's my guide to successful gambling. I can't give away all my secrets, but I'll offer you a tip for each of the most popular casino games.
When the cocktail waitress delivers your drink, quickly order your next one.
Hold out for the wild card.
Always assume the dealer has blackjack, and double-down on everything.
Find a table that's hit black five times in a row and bet on red. It's like flipping a coin: Heads five times in a row? What are the chances it's heads again on the next flip? Best bet in the casino.
Observe the game for awhile, since it can be confusing. When you're ready, throw some chips around, clap, and shout, "Yo!" Somebody will throw chips right back at you.
XING HAI SHI BU XING
The girl in the red dress has the jelly bean.
Always seek out the hottest dealers. If you play your cards right, it's cheaper than an actual date and--bonus--since they wear nametags, you don't have to remember her name.
Always take the high ground, stay out of central Asia, and control the seas.
Easiest money in the house; that's why there's always a line. Bet on "checking account."
Notes and Trivia
- Barney plays Xing Hai Shi Bu Xing in Atlantic City.
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