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Barney's Blog: Barney's Favorite Things

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This is the one hundred and twenty-eighth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode False Positive.

Barney's Favorite ThingsEdit

December 13, 2010


BlogFaveThings


Barney here. As you all know, I'm a big ol' giver. I like to get in there and just give hard. So this week, partly inspired by the holidays but mostly inspired by my massive bonus check, I decided to elevate my giving to a new level of awesome.

You may have heard about an anonymous donor anonymously showering the patrons of MacLaren's Pub with hundreds of anonymous gifts. Well, that awesome anonymous donor was me. Shhh... don't tell anyone.

Here's a list of what I gave:

Pez dispensers
Velour tracksuits
Lap dances at the Lusty Leopard
Barney Stinson novelty condoms (extra thin, for his pleasure)
Remote controlled dinosaurs
Silk neckties (water resistant up to 100 meters)
Hypercolor t-shirts
Digital barbeque tongs
Zune mp3 players (Cobra Kai limited edition)
Whoopie cushions
Autographed copies of "The Playbook" (available wherever books are sold, seriously)
Snap bracelets
Hoverboards (they don't work on water, you bojos)
Gorgonzola cheese wedges
"I Love NY" mousepads
AM/FM alarm clocks (with built-in high-definition cameras)
Bootleg copies of "Space Teens" (with deleted, unrated scenes)
Gift certificates to Emilio's Tailor Shop
Actual working light sabers
Segways
Hugh Hefner life-size cutouts
Mini-trampolines (ladies only)
Armani pocket squares
Box of hair products (stolen from Ted's bathroom)

In addition to my generosity at the bar, I'll be donating to the following charities:

Feed the Cute Children
Doctors Without Pants
ACLBoobs
Defenders of Nightlife
NPR (National Pubic Radio)
The Red Polka-Dot Cross
Designer Shoes for the Homeless
Society for the Immediate Banishment of Brassieres
Athletic Police League
Save the Puppies
American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Blondes
The Rockettes
International Organization for the Enhancement of Mammary Glands
St. Nude's Research Hospital
NRDC (Naughty Resource Defense Council)
Oxfam Acapulco


Notes and TriviaEdit

Previous entry
"How To Be Awesome" - Chapter 83: The Mermaid Theory
Barney's Favorite Things
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