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Barney's Blog: BOOBONYMS

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This is the one hundred and twientieth entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from Barney's Blog at the CBS website here.

This entry is in response to the episode Subway Wars.


October 11, 2010

Dear Bloglodytes,

It's come to my attention that there's an alarming nickname shortage for those wondrous spheres affixed to the female thoracic cavity. I'm referring, of course, to boobies.

You're familiar with the classics: knockers, ta-ta's, fun bags, sweater cows. But what about their lesser-known cousins: Honka sacks? Blouse blobs? Milk bulbs?

Every bro should possess an arsenal of unique boob synonyms, or "boobonyms." Why? First, they're fun to say... suckle huts! Second, and more important, a dude must be able to safely and inconspicuously direct his bro's attention to an amazing set of swollen flesh papayas should they come bouncing by. Example: "Bro! Check out the brontosaurus eggs at your 5 o'clock!"

Below are 25 of my all-time favorite boobonyms. Feel free to think up your own but be sure to share them with the greater shirt roosters appreciation community.

Fun Bags
Sweater Cows
Bikini Bombs
Brontosaurus Eggs
Chest Balloons
Speed Bags
Twin Peaks
Honka Sacks
Velvet Cushions
Suckle Huts
Silicone Sisters
Dairy Maids
Blouse Blobs
Strawberry Sundaes
Travel Pillows
Mike & Molly
Swollen Flesh Papayas
Milk Bulbs
Lady Turnips
Skin Spinnakers
Shirt Roosters

Notes and TriviaEdit

Barney constantly uses many of these boobonyms to  alert members of the group to hot women in the area, usually at MacLaren's Pub.

In The Pre-Nup, Barney calls Quinn's 'lady parts' Anne, Molly, and Sarah

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