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Barney's Blog: As Fast As I Can

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This is the ninety-third entry of Barney's Blog, written by How I Met Your Mother main character Barney Stinson. It was retrieved from the Barney's Blog at the CBS website Here.

This entry is in response to the episode As Fast As She Can.

AS FAST AS I CANEdit

May 12, 2009


Getting out of a ticket -- turns out -- not as easy as getting out of a second date. Nor apparently, are cops as easily manipulated as say, the Dow Jones. But when the po-po pulls you over on your way to your next pharmaceutical sales convention, you need to be ready. Here's a Stinson approved practice test.*


Which answer will get you out of a ticket?


1. You pull an illegal U-turn on a two lane road. Freddy Fuzz waddles over and asks for you license and registration.


A: Apologize and promise to never to it again.

B: You explain you have diplomatic immunity. You're an ambassador from the country of Awesome.

C: Cry


2. There's a girl fight happening across town. You're doing 95 on the highway. Carl Copper flashes his lights. You pull over. He asks for license and registration. You:


A: Explain you're dyslexic. You thought you were going 59.

B: You do your duty as a bro and tell him about the fight.

C: Cry.


3. You run a stop sign. Trudy Trooper wants your license and registration. You:


A: Say you thought that sign was for your heart, because that's what it did when you saw her.

B: Hand them over. With your phone number.

C: Cry


Answers:


Question 1:


A: Ticket

B: Ticket

C: Ticket


Question 2:


A: Ticket

B: He turns on the sirens and you get there just in time to see the girls yank off their tops and roll into a conveniently placed puddle of mud. Then he writes you a ticket.

C: Ticket


Question 3:


A: Ticket

B: Ticket but also a fun night with handcuffs and a lot of "Yes, Officer!"

C: Ticket and she laughs at you.


  • Please note that if you are a hot chick, you will never get a ticket. If you are borderline hot, (we're talking 4-7 out of 10), crying should do the trick.


Notes and TriviaEdit

Previous entry
Crunching The Numbers
As Fast As I Can
(all blog entries)
Next entry →
Barney's Mail "Sack" 8

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