This entry is in response to the episode Milk.
An Open Letter To Clark Butterfield
Tuesday, May 9, 2006, 10:35am
TO: All employees of Nicholson, Hewitt & West
FROM: Barney Stinson
RE: Clark Butterfield
To Whom It May Concern:
We all know Clark Butterfield. Great guy. You know, with the big ears and the weak chin. But how many of you, his co-workers, truly understand what a great man he is? Well, I do, and I can be silent no longer. Knowing he would be too modest to ever share his accomplishments himself, I write to you all so that, if you get a chance, you can stop by his office personally and say thanks.
So thank you, Clark Butterfield. Thank you for your tireless work on behalf of the recently imprisoned. Thank you for agreeing to mentor six to eight residents of an undisclosed halfway house in Jersey, taking them to work with you day in and day out for the next three weeks. Thanks for meeting them in the lobby every morning beginning next Tuesday at five A.M. sharp. They're early risers, the recently imprisoned. Thanks for helping them get a fresh start.
Thanks for making Nicholson, Hewitt & West a friendlier place to work. Thanks for that basket of free latte vouchers you keep on your desk just in case someone's having a bad day. I bet a lot of people didn't even know about that! Thank you for offering to take everyone out to steaks today after work to celebrate the opening of your one-man, ten-minute semi-autobiographical play, "I'm Clark Butterfield." I just hope they aren't all too star-struck to take you up on your kind offer, since we all know it's good eating when Clark's treating. Maybe you'd be kind enough to do a monologue or two from your show. I bet everyone would like to see that. I know I would.
Thanks for volunteering to build houses in Tijuana during the months of July and August. I know it took you forever to save up all that vacation time. And to spend it helping deserving families help themselves… well, it makes me almost speechless to think about it. I don't know why you picked July and August, though. It's going to be really, really hot down there. Be sure you bring plenty of water.
Finally, in light of all these good works, I ask that all the employees of Nicholson, Hewitt & West please be kind to Clark Butterfield. I know what some of you have been saying about him, that he's personally offputting and has sweaty palms. I know it's easy to pick on the guy with the strong personal scent and the novelty ties, but that really only hurts people who have to work on his floor or go to meetings with him. So next time you're about to rip on Clark Butterfield, take a moment. Think about how by helping society, he's really helping everyone. Head on up to his office. Grab a coupon for a free latte. Ask to see his wallet photos of needy Cambodian children. And say thanks. For all of us.
Very truly yours,
Notes and Trivia
- Marshall will later get a job working for the lawfirm of Nicholson, Hewitt & West (I'm Not That Guy).
- Butterfield hates Barney and Barney hates him because Stionson did disgusting things to Clark's sandwich and Clark Butterfield probobly peed in Barney's coffee but Barney made Marshell drink it Milk
|Sexual Profiling||An Open Letter To Clark Butterfield |
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